I have noticed my pain tolerance is going down and it kind of bothers me before i got with Master i was with another who was a complete sadist ware as Master is not and i don't know i kind of wish i had more impact play
i crave for it to build up and get more intense and severe and to leave marks
i find that even tho i take as much pain as i possibly think i can i still at times don't feel its enough for there are no marks and i feel i have failed and that i have not done well enough
some times i wish Master would just be bean and beat me till im a blubbering mess and then take me in his arms and tell me that he loved me and was proud of me for taking that but i find that lately i just kind of feel bad
which is in return making it so i try to ether avoid it completely or that i try to get myself into trouble so he will actually lose his cool and actually leave ugly looking marks....but so far not so much
baaa sometimes my need for masochism sucks
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