I think I hate pain no I know I do its horrible and it dose not feel good but I do not understand why I crave it so much
Its like I kind of go of the deep end if I have not had any sort of impact play I seem to lose my mind space and I don’t feel very submissive and the fact I don’t feel submissive makes me feel angry. When im angry and lose my submissive mind frame its not good
When I lose my mind frame I start misbehaving and not doing as im told and I start to forget to apply to the few protocols and rituals we do have and I start lacking on my everyday house work which in turn gets me into trouble which is not good
So today I was reading blogs and I came across a blog about Maintenance spanking and what the benefits of it is and what good it will do for me and in reality I think it has good points it will help to keep me focused, to help avoid Punishment spankings, to keep Us connected as Master and slave
So in conclusion I think I will address this with Master and see what he thinks of maintenance spankings, canings. whippings or floggings lol
Anything that will hurt lol
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