Falure

Master has been wanting to train me but the first night he tried to make me sleep away from him I had a PTSD attack and did not know how to cope with it because for the longest time my way of copping with them has been cuddling up with him and hi holding me

Well that night I did not have him and I had a PTSD attack and crawled into bed with him after trying to cope with it on my own and failing…the next morning and a few days after Master and I discussed it and we talked about it and Master modified his training technique for me so it did not cause damage and that was 2 days ago

But during those 2 days I have been thinking more and more that I wish to really try to do this whole training bit and I am determent to do better then I did before

I want to be able to follow any and all of his orders just for the sake of obeying them and being able to just do as he says with out asking and I hope that if I’m able to complete this horribly hard task that I will be closer to my goal of doing as he says

I’m really hoping that after Master reads this that he will give me another chance to do this and that he will understand that WE are ready for his challenges and that we have decided that we will not let the fear of the past disrupt our dynamic

I hope he is not to horribly disappointed that I was not able to complete it the first time around and this time I know we will do better